Cyberbullying - Keeping your Kids Safe Online

Todd is a twelve year-old boy. A straight ‘A’ student, Todd is smart and shy and a self-proclaimed "geek" Todd has gotten used to not getting invited to social events like parties or play dates. Instead, he enjoys the companionship he receives from his fantasy role play games online where he has met and chatted with hundreds of other geeks from all over the world. Todd has learned over the years to sit alone at lunch time and spend recess in a classroom working on school work or reading the latest science fiction novel. He has been the victim of bullying. He knows the drill, find an adult, tell them what happened, sit in the principal’s office and witness the perpetrators receive detention or suspensions. The novelty has worn off for the playground bullies, and Todd feels he is "safer" at school than in years passed. Although the daily face-to-face bullying has been reduced, the bullies have found a new way to torment Todd. Hidden away from the watchful protection of teachers and parents, they have begun to harass him electronically. Despite being extremely computer literate and savvy in his ability to block their repeated attempts, Todd recognizes that he is on the defensive every time he boots up his computer or checks his voicemail or text messages. Todd’s new motto is, "Sticks and stones will break your bones but cyberbullying hurts even more! Unfortunately there is no way to protect yourself from devices you have to use throughout the day, and I am NOT giving up my computer or cell phone! Besides, it’s cyberspace! How do you know who to tell on?"




Cyberbullying is defined as willful and repeated harm inflicted through electronic media such as e-mails, instant messages, comments or posts on personal webpage profiles, phone messages, and text messages.


As playground bullying continues to be a real threat to our children, Cyberbullying is a common issue for pre-teens and teens today. Although the emotional response is similar to physical bullying, the dynamics are different. A playground bully needs physical strength and muscle to gain the fear and respect necessary for intimidation. In cyberspace all you need is a computer, cell phone, and persistence. Playground bullies get their reinforcement by the crowd cheering them on, in cyberspace there can be an audience of one or as large as thousands. Today the aggressor posts hurtful, derogatory words on profiles to achieve humiliation and embarrassment. Or a friend can print out a "secret chat" and distribute it to other classmates to reveal feelings. Camera phones also avail children to taking private pictures and distributing them. Hurtful text messages can be sent repeatedly not only costing emotional hurt, but can have financial consequences depending on what plan your child’s cell phone has.

So what can parents do? Computers and cell phones have become "necessities" but there are still ways to establish safe boundaries to help your child handle a cyberbully attack.


Try the following tips to help keep your child safe from abuse:

Discuss with your child the importance of not giving their real name, email address or mobile phone number to people outside their circle of friends and family.


Make sure they only use moderated chat rooms.


Install computer software to ensure that you only receive emails from people you have chosen and to block unwanted images such as this one recently created in Australia.


Consider which cell phone plan is the most appropriate for your child’s age, usage, and discuss the parameters with them before activating the phone.


Encourage your child to talk to you about anything that has been upsetting them.


Tell them they can show you any abusive or offensive messages they’ve received and keep a record of them.


Tell them never to respond to any abusive messages or calls – this is frequently what the abuser wants.


Report any abuse to the police, your child’s school, the internet service provider, the website manager/moderator or the mobile phone company. Use this Report Form to file a report.


As a final resort, consider changing your email address or telephone number if the abuse continues.

For additional tips on how to help your child deal with Cyberbullying please contact me at havi@health-e-connections.com


Article provided by: examiner.com
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Police, deputies join to keep summer safe for youth

By Jamie Rogers

Morning News Reporter
Published: June 18, 2009


Florence police and county sheriff’s deputies have combined forces to start a special initiative, Operation Safe Summer, to keep young residents safe this season.

Florence Police Chief Anson Shells said news of the collaboration has been received well by residents so far.

“I think they were pleased,” he said. “What we are trying to do is basically double our efforts.”

And the only way that can be done is through a synergic relationship, said Florence County Sheriffs Kenney Boone.

The agencies have been fighting crime together for years, Boone said. But the two leaders made it official on Monday when they signed a special contract that will allow certain law enforcement officers to work with more than one agency for up to one year. The agreement applies to the combined drug unit, the gang task force and the community action unit.

Drug enforcement is especially important in the effort to keep children safe all year round, Shells said.

“The summer tends to bring an increase in many types of crime. Both the sheriff and I know that,” he said. “One of those is drug crimes, and with it comes a whole host of other crimes.”

Both agencies have officers who specialize in gang intelligence. These officers will continue to work together, the chief and sheriff said, and gather information on gangs, since many young people become involved in illegal activity through street gangs.

“This is something that needs to continue,” Shells said. “We both have a lot to contribute and we are going to work to reduce the limitations as far as jurisdictions.

“Bad guys don’t know about jurisdictional lines, they just care about their drug territory.”

“We’ve all got to work together,” Boone said. “We are dealing with some of the same people, so it’s only appropriate that we work together.”

Boone said the agencies will be working to promote youth camps and organizations that aid in keeping youth out of trouble.

“We both have camps,” Boone said. “They have Camp Fever and a basketball camp, we have Camp Pee Dee Pride and an explorers program.”

Neighborhood watch organizations in the city and county are extremely important and will continue cooperating with both deputies and police, Shells said.

During the school year, school resource officers with both agencies will share ideas and information relating to students, Boone said

Article Provided by: SCnow.com
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America’s First FCU Helps Keep Police Safe

By Lindsey Siegriest

America’s First Federal Credit Union is helping to keep safe those who serve the community by providing bulletproof police vests to several local police departments.

America’s First has severed many of the municipalities in the Birmingham, Ala. area for years and wanted to give back to the community.

“It is great to know that there are still businesses, in our area, that recognize the critical needs of local law enforcement. America’s First has long been one of those that we can count on to provide the support we need, when we need it,” said Captain Tim Carter of the Helena Police Department.

The credit union has already donated three vests to Homewood, Pelham and Helena municipalities. They plan to issue 12 more vests during 2009.

Ballistic vests need to be replaced every five years due to law enforcement codes and normal wear and tear. In a press release, the credit union said that during this time of financial cut backs and budgeting issues they are proud of the opportunity to provide the police departments with this important and fundamental piece of equipment.
 
 
Article Information provided by: Credit Union Times
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PWU Member Contest!!!!

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Click ^ to go to the group and submit your photo!!!!
 
 
Submit your best July Photo by July 31st 2009 to be entered in our summer contest. Winner will receive a prize from Kelly and be featured in next month’s newsletter along with being featured on the website. So please submit your photos to the designated Forum Topic. And remember you can only submit ONE photo.
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About Kelly

Just a little blog let you all know a little about myself:

My name is Kelly, I'm a 31 year old PROUD Police Wife to my husband of six years Patrick. I have a 4 yr old son Hayden and a 12 yr old step-daughter Kaitlyn. I was born and raised in Ohio; a true Buckeye! We moved to Vermont in 1993, it's no secret that I HATE living in Vermont! I can't stand the LONG winters, the lack of cell service due to being surrounded by mountains....I could rant and rave all night (I'll spare you ;) I am working on trying to convince my husband to move anywhere WARM (hopefully he'll come around soon)

My husband wears two uniforms that mean so much! Not only is he a Police Officer (SGT), but he is also in the National Guard (SSG). I couldn't be more proud of him! For those of you that don't know, his National Guard Unit is being immobilized to Afghanistan in December of this year. Although this will be tough for our family to be apart for so long, we support him and couldn't be more proud of him for serving our country!

I created Police Wives Unite on NING for a few reasons. I have always wanted a place for Police Wives to connect to share stories, compare notes and support one another. I am a member on a few other Police Wife support forums and I found them a little difficult to navigate. I love the fact that we have groups within our group, there's a place for everyone. My PW girls are the greatest, I could not make it through some days without the support of my PW's :) I am so thankful so have found such a great group of women! I am looking forward to seeing our group grow and form special bonds with all the women!

xoxo~ Kelly
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Recession hitting LE hard and fast...

This article hits really close to home for our department. Not only do we fall under the "No Overtime Pay For Police" category now but we also now fall under "No-Raise" as well...at least we know we're not alone...

Recession Hitting LE Hard and Fast
written by APB staff (American Police Beat www.apbweb.com)

A recent posting by POLICEPAY.NET, one of the nation’s leading contract negotiations and arbitration teams, and which is headquartered in Norman, Oklahoma, included the following stories. There’s no longer any doubt that the recession is having a severe impact on local law enforcement. Police sound staffing alarm. By Christian Burkin (The Stockton Record) “Not long ago the Stockton Police Department in California couldn’t hire fast enough to satisfy the city’s appetite for police, but last week it was forced by a shrinking budget to lay off four academy trainees who were about a month from graduating and joining the ranks.

Assistant Chief Blair Ulring, who has been in charge of the department since November, said their dismissal is without precedent. Several retired Stockton chiefs with whom he had spoken recently could not remember ever laying off police.”

Las Vegas police union doesn’t believe revenues are down. By Sam Skolnik (Las Vegas Sun) “As Las Vegas struggles with its worst budget crisis in years, the city has reached an important agreement with the union representing about 1,500 municipal workers. The unions had hired Beth Kohn-Cole of Reno to get an independent estimation of the city’s finances before agreeing to reduced raises. “According to the two-page Dec. 26 report, there are ‘pockets of funds’ the city has failed to take into account when claiming its need to cut employee pay hikes. Chris Collins, executive director of the Las Vegas Police Protective Association, said he hadn’t seen the Kohn-Cole report but that he’s seen other reports that have concluded the city’s revenues are up and not down, as the city contends. He quickly added that his union is ready to sacrifice its fair share if necessary.”

Police chief warily offers potential budget cuts. By Tony Plohetski (The Austin American-Statesman) “Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo said he has reluctantly found ways to slash the department’s budget by $5 million, but he warns that the cuts could affect ‘basic police services’ in some instances. “The cuts also would shift costs to other city agencies or require City Council members to depart from earlier decisions or curtail long-standing practices. They include delaying a cadet training academy in March and putting off a council-mandated merger with the park police and airport police that is scheduled to begin Monday.”

Police guild will not forgo ’09 raise. By Jeffrey Mize (The Columbian) “In Washington State, Vancouver’s police officers won’t follow the lead of city firefighters and give up their raises for 2009. Members of the Vancouver Police Officers Guild, the largest of the city’s ten unions, will receive a 5.1 percent pay increase during the final year of a four-year contract. ‘Our position is we are due to start negotiations in June,’ Sgt. Scott Creager, secretary of the 183-member guild representing officers, corporals and sergeants, said. ‘We aren’t interested in opening the contract for six months.’”

“No-raise” police pact nears approval. By Aaron Lee (Connecticut Post) “In Bridgeport, Connecticut, a contract giving police officers no raises through June 2010 is almost official after it passed the City Council’s Contract Committee in late December. The proposed four-year pact, which Bridgeport Police Union Local 1159 members had approved by 15 votes, may save the city $800,000 in the current fiscal year. In the third year of the contract, officers would get a 6 percent raise, followed by a 5 percent boost in the fourth and final year. “The contract now goes to the full council for review. ‘I think this is the best we can do given the national financial crisis,’ said Officer Frank Cuccaro, union president, who attended the meeting in City Hall. The pact would also prevent the layoffs of nine rookies. Widespread layoffs are one cost-saving measure Mayor Bill Finch implemented since learning of a looming $20 million city budget deficit.”

No Overtime Pay For Police. By Bryan Latham Wowt “The city of Omaha, already strapped for cash, is under an order from the state to reduce the amount of overtime police officers have banked. The police union says its members want the money and they want it now. When officers work overtime, they have the choice to be paid for the OT right away, bank it and save it for later, or take it as comp time. A recent decision from the Court of Industrial Relations lowered the number of hours officers can save, raising a lot of questions on all sides.”

Police and Fire Agree To 3% Pay Cut To Avoid Layoffs. By Leigh Jones (The Galveston County Daily News) “Police officers and firefighters overwhelmingly agreed to take a 3 percent pay cut to avoid layoffs, a measure City Manager Steve LeBlanc said would be necessary if the city didn’t cut $3.6 million from its budget. “LeBlanc announced the proposed pay cuts a week before Christmas, saying either the payroll or the number of city staffers would have to be reduced by Jan. 1.”
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Kudos to the Santa Cruz Police Officers Association...

Cops Try To Rescue School Sports
written by APB staff writers (American Police Beat http://www.apbweb.com/)

Saving people who find themselves in trouble is a pretty good job description of what it is that cops do. And in Santa Cruz, California, the local police association is trying to save something that many of us took for granted during brighter economic times – school sports. The Santa Cruz Police Officers Association is using the money it raises from a basketball game to try and save sports at two local schools. The SCPOA is teaming up with Santa Cruz High School and Harbor High School to put money back into school sports programs that need a boost after recent cutbacks due to budget issues basically put the programs on life support.
“We figured if we could start something and make it efficient we can give money each year and know we’re putting money into schools,” Steve Kopald, Harbor High School assistant athletic director, told local reporters in an interview.
The basketball game will feature the Harlem Ambassadors, which is kind of a cost-affordable version of the Harlem Globetrotters.
The Ambassadors will compete against a team composed of community members, students, and city council members.
Both high schools will sell about 200 tickets and will also try and get local businesses to kick in for advertisements.
The school that does the most fundraising will be the biggest winner and take 40 percent of the event earnings back to its athletic department.
The second place school will get 30 percent of the funds.
The Santa Cruz Police Officers Association understands that if kids are playing sports in school, they’re less likely to get into trouble in the street.
With that in mind, the police officers association is putting up $4,000 to keep the local sports programs afloat.
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All about Erin

Hi everyone!

I'm Erin, aka The Fierce Beagle. I'm a professional writer and editor, but I started blogging almost a year ago after having our first baby, Ethan. I needed a creative and community outlet, since being a police wife really began to show its toughest challenges after having a kid.

I met my husband, Noah, in college in Nashville, Tennessee. He was a religion major. So when we moved back to his hometown, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, it came as quite a twist of fate when he decided to join the police department. Noah graduated at the top of his Academy class two years ago, and has been on the streets ever since. For the first year and a half he worked rotating shifts, but this past January our department went to permanent shifts. Noah was lucky enough to be assigned the day shift. And we've been lucky enough to have some good friends—another police officer and his wife, a SAHM to a beautiful boy just a month older than Ethan—provide childcare while Noah and I are both at work.

Living in Winston-Salem has been great—I was born and raised in Los Angeles, and have also lived in Chicago and Northern Ireland—but it didn't really start to feel like home until we became part of the police community.

I'm the "sergeant" of the bereavement committee for Behind the Blue Line, the WSPD spouses' non-profit support group, and I'm really excited about being part of Police Wives Unite!
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Philadelphia Cadets Get Straight Talk About Job Pitfalls

By PATRICK WALTERS

Associated Press Writer

PHILADELPHIA --

The rows of Philadelphia police cadets grew quiet as grainy video rolled across a screen before them: Shocking footage of a transit officer in Oakland, Calif., fatally shooting a suspect in the back as the man was being held down on a train platform.

"Sir, did the officers see a gun?" a cadet asked after it ended. After a lieutenant said "No," the recruit shook his head at the example of what not to do.

On Monday, 166 Philadelphia Police Academy cadets graduated and got their badges. This year, with police scrutiny high nationwide, they first got a dose of straight talk about pitfalls that have derailed recruits. In other big cities, training touches on such topics, but Philadelphia now has a more direct, all-inclusive approach: What can get you fired?

The Guardian Civic League, a group of black officers, presented a program called "Steer Straight" to the class last week. Veteran officers spent seven hours telling them all about what could ruin their careers - domestic violence, improper use of lethal force, alcohol abuse, accepting freebies on the job and more.

"It takes one slip to lose everything you've worked so hard for," Inspector Cynthia Dorsey, who heads up the internal affairs division, told the class.

With about 6,700 officers, the Philadelphia Police Department is the nation's fourth- largest force - behind New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.

The Guardian Civic League presented the program to active officers last year. But the group's president, Rochelle Bilal, worried young recruits weren't hearing enough from seasoned veterans, and Commissioner Charles Ramsey asked her to take it to cadets.

It has been a tough few years for the department, with seven officers killed in the line of duty since May 2006.

With the force on edge, commanders, community leaders and other law enforcement at the training cautioned that the mistakes of even a very few can tarnish the department's name.

In May 2008, about a dozen Philadelphia officers were caught on television video kicking, punching and beating three suspects at a traffic stop; the city later fired four and demoted several others.

"Don't even think about privacy," District Attorney Lynne Abraham told the cadets. "You are going to have to remember that everybody is watching you."

Cadets heard the story of the transit officer in Oakland who resigned after shooting the unarmed suspect on New Year's Day.

Johannes Mehserle was charged with murder in the shooting of Oscar Grant, 22, a suspect in a fight who had his hands behind his back and another officer kneeling on his neck when he was shot. Mehserle has pleaded not guilty; his attorney said he meant to reach for his Taser.

The cadets got words of warning about an ongoing federal investigation of four officers in Philadelphia's narcotics unit who are accused of falsifying search warrants; none has been charged, but each has been put on desk duty.

They heard about small-time corruption, too, like the case of a 15-year veteran in Daytona Beach who was fired after allegedly threatening Starbucks employees with slower response times if they refused to give him free drinks.

"The way the economy is, they won't have a problem letting you go," said Roosevelt Poplar, vice president of the Fraternal Order of Police, reminding the cadets they are on probation for a year. "Discipline in the police department is, I would say, at an all-time high."

On one day in April, Ramsey announced plans to fire five officers - including one accused of making derogatory racial remarks on a ride-along with a student journalist and two accused of using racial epithets while responding to a school disturbance.

Authorities in other large police departments say they cover many of the topics but not in an exclusive program.

In Los Angeles, cadets get extensive training about corruption, community policing and use of force, but nothing all in one place, said Officer Karen Rayner, a department spokeswoman. Rookies are paired with a training officer, who has at least three years experience.

In New York, recruits get training on many topics addressed in the Philadelphia program, but no single training geared toward everything that can get you fired.

"They cover it, but they cover in it in a way that they can say 'OK, we covered it. Let's move on,'" said Noel Leader, co-founder of the advocacy group 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement Who Care, who helped train recruits in New York before retiring as a sergeant in 2006.

Shortly before graduating, New York cadets get community relations training and hear the concerns of department critics firsthand, said Deputy Commissioner Paul J. Browne. Internal affairs also makes a general presentation at the academy; The NYPD also steps up training in certain areas as it becomes needed, Browne said.

Philadelphia cadets said "Steer Straight" at the very least gave them pause.

Anthony Herley, a 23-year-old Philadelphia native, said he couldn't imagine himself in any of the bad situations. He's dreamt of becoming an officer since his hopes for a football career fizzled in high school.

"I've got to feed my family," said Herley, the father of two boys, ages 1 and 4. "The last thing you want to do is mess things up. ... This is a dream come true."

All information for this blog post provided by  Officer.com
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Attention Blog Contributors:

You can Copy and paste this code to your personal blog to show you are a Contributor here at the Police Wives Unite blogsite!!! Just copy and paste the code from the text box into a HTML/Java Gadget on your personal blog!!!! It links back to this blogsite when you click it!~



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All about Michelle....

Just a little blog let you all know a little about myself:

My name is Michelle, I'm a 27 year old PROUD Police Wife to my husband of seven years Michael and PROUD Stay At Home Mom to my three year old twin toddlers Connor & Braden.
I was born and raised in Upstate NY (some would say Canada...and that is not far from the truth!) as was my husband. There are not many advantages in our small home town so my husband & I relocated to Hampton Roads, Virginia one month after the Sept 11th attacks in 2001.
After dating for two years, on the exact anniversary of our engagement Michael & I married on August 24, 2002 back home in New York.
Michael was hired by the Chesapeake Police Department at the end of 2003 and graduated the academy on August 24, 2004...yes there is a trend with us on August 24th!
Our miracle twins arrived amid a flurry of life threatening crisis's on March 11, 2006 and happily today Mommy and boys are all happy and healthy thanks in large part to our very own special hero, Mike, who saved the three of our lives on March 11, 2006 and turned what could have been a tragedy into a very happy occasion!
In summer 2007 Mike was award the Star Performer Award by the city in recognition of "outstanding service to the city" for a drug related plain clothes detail that he worked for six months. Last August Mike was promoted to the position of FTO (Field Training Officer) and has successfully trained three rookies. Mike recently became a state certified instructor and was recognized at a ceremony for five years of dedicated service to the city. He is currently in the application process for SWAT and K9.
As a SAHM the twins and I belong to two very active local play groups and keep insanely busy with all our little buddies at play dates and we enjoy going to parks, museums, the beach, the zoo, farms and pretty much any other place we can think of to check out!
In my spare time....(what is that!?!) I love to take pictures, scrapbook, craft, read and write. My favorite color is purple, I can't live without pizza and I'd go crazy if we didn't live near the ocean! I think that the bond we all share as Police Wives is priceless and I look forward to all of us being a wealth of support to one another!

So that's Michelle in a nutshell!
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About Desiree

Hello everyone! Im Desiree, Iam a Sahm/Photographer. I have 3 wonderful children. 2 girls and 1 boy. I have been married for 4 years now. We have been together for 5 years. My husband is a Sheriffs Deputy; he has been one for 11 years now. He works the night shift in the patrol unit.

We live in Sacramento California. We have both lived in California for the majority of our lives okay well he has his whole life except when he was in the military and I have my whole life except for the 6 months I lived in Las Vegas Nevada!

I love writing; always have; I write about some pretty random stuff; boring everyday stuff and a whole lot of nothing! Writing is my outlet for having a good or bad day! I have a personal blog  The Family Behind His Badge if you would like to check it out!

I am also this blogsites manager... If there is anything you would like to share with this site Please Email me at desireesbook@gmail.com .

Desiree
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Announcing Blog Contributors!

First off Thank you to the Emails that i received to be a contributor on the Police Wives Unite Blog! As of right now I decided that the following will be our Blog Contributors:

  • Desiree (Me-PWU Admin Member)
  • Kelly (PWU site creator)
  • Michelle (PWU Admin member)
  • Erin (PWU member)
As of right now these will be our contributors. In time if this progresses the way i am expecting it to I will open up the Application process again!

I would reall like Each Blog Contributor to Please take the time to first Accept the invitation sent to you to be a Author! and secondly please please please take the time to post a blog on here telling us alittle about yourself.

I will be then linking this blog To your link on the side of the page!

Thank you

Desiree C.
Blogsite Manager
Police Wives Unite
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Looking for Contributors:

CLOSED Not Accepting at this time

Police Wives Unite is looking for Contributors for our blog site! We are looking for a few good Police Wives to help run the blog! If you would like to apply please email Desiree at desireesbook@gmail.com.

Requirements of the Blog Contributor:

  • Must be able to blog atleast 1 time a week on a assigned day.
  • Must keep blog on track with Police related content or family of Law enforcement content.
  • Must have a blog of their own on sites such as wordpress, blogger etc so that we may list them in the Blog Contributors list on the side of blog.
  • Must be willing to submit purposed blog entry for approval before posting if content is sensitive in nature.
  • Must give proper credit when using articles from other websites linking site(s) at the end of their post and putting in proper label category.

Please make sure that you are willing to commit to helping out with our blog. It takes the time and effort from everyone to have our site(s) running smoothly!

Thank you

Desiree C
Blogsite Manager
Police Wives Unite
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Okaloosa County Deputy Needs A Kidney Transplant

A 20-year-veteran of the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office continues to hit the streets while he waits for a life saving transplant.


Deputy Johnnie Briggs was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease in 1998. He began dialysis earlier this month and gets the treatments three days a week. But he doesn't let that stop him from working his twelve hour shifts as a member of the traffic enforcement unit.


"I have good days and bad days," said Briggs. "But it does make you very, very tired".


Briggs needs a kidney transplant and is on the waiting list at Tulane University Hospital in New Orleans. But that could take a while. Patients typically spend three to seven years on the waiting list. In Florida alone, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says more than 3,000 people are awaiting kidney transplants.


Briggs' girlfriend wants to donate one of her kidneys. but she's not a match.




Anyone who is interested in becoming a kidney donor is asked to contact Kim Thompson at kidneyforjohnnie@yahoo.com or 850.218.8818 for more information.
 
Article Courtesy of WKRG News.com
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Family Life

Law Enforcement Personnel and Family Life

There is nothing more rewarding than taking pride in yourself, your career, and your family. Law enforcement professionals want to help others and make a difference in the lives of those in need. However, as the years go by the concept of “helping people” looses its glamour. Seeing people at their worst and a part of society that most do not see, can cause a negative effect. Law enforcement personnel and those in emergency services deal with trauma and crisis on a regular basis. Responding to crime scenes, car accidents, assaults, child abuse cases, disputes, domestics, being subjected to physical confrontations, internal investigations, and other types of difficult to handle situations are a part of what police officers do on a daily basis. Police work is a physically and emotionally draining job. Repeated exposure to negative images and interactions affect the overall physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual well being of police officers spilling over in to their personal lives drastically impacting their families.



Law enforcement personnel are required to problem solve for others daily. Many of the situations that police officers face require them to maintain control, remain professional, and show little emotion which is difficult to do in stressful or traumatic situations. It requires the ability to silence true feelings and emotions adding additional challenges to an already highly stressful occupation. Work related stress associated with police work leads to numerous issues including post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, alcoholism, substance abuse, suicide, domestic violence, divorce, and other addictions and problems. Unresolved trauma affects work, personal relationships, the way we parent, and our quality of life. Police officers are at risk of work-family spillover when officers are not able to differentiate between their work self and home self. All of these issues filter down to the officer’s family life.


As people have changed and evolved through time, so has the definition of family. One way we define family is to say that family are the people we go to for support. With this new concept of family in mind, the reality is that all people need support. In essence, we can not go through life alone without the support of loved ones. Our family support network is made up of many people including relatives, parents, siblings, partners/spouses, children, friends, and co-workers. Knowing when and where we find support is essential in our journey through the different stages of life. Gaining knowledge through experience, preparing for future challenges, and identifying and utilizing support systems keeps families healthy, thriving, and functioning as a unit.

Police families and the need for support

Our culture tends to turn away from those who are suffering or experiencing crisis. The common message is that people are expected to “get over it”. This is exhibited within the police culture as well. Police officers rely on each other for safety and strength. Expressing sadness, fear, or indecisiveness leads other officers and members of society to question a police officer’s level of competence. Police officers can get caught up in suppressing their feelings causing them to compartmentalize or put away their true emotions. This puts them at risk of either releasing their emotions inappropriately at a later time, or dismissing them. This can lead to several other issues including emotional instability, anger, social withdrawal, detachment, and isolation.


Think of a time when you were feeling stressed, emotionally drained, or physically spent. What techniques or behaviors did you use to reduce your stress? Often times we turn to techniques that we have used in the past which have given us relief. However, there is a difference between temporary relief and healing. It is easy to engage in a cycle of behaviors that may seem harmless but if used in excess have the potential to be damaging. It is important to be mindful of what we have used previously, and the degree of effectiveness it has had. Patterns of negative behaviors form when unresolved issues are not dealt with leaving us vulnerable to future emotional instability.

The different ways in which we reduce stress are unending. Still, we need to focus on long term stress reduction and maintenance. The key is having the ability to decipher which practices are healthy and which ones are harmful. Some common techniques that people use are drinking, television watching, video game playing, computer usage, or viewing pornography. Occupying our mind and time with certain distractions keeps us from dealing with the issues that are causing harm. Other coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, unhealthy or over eating, over spending, and gambling are also damaging. Temporary solutions do not allow us to heal. They provide a quick fix keeping us afloat enough to manage our daily tasks.

Reaching out, identifying resources, and using our support systems build resilience against life’s challenges that we face on a daily basis. Support comes from family members, co-workers, mental health and medical professionals, support groups, educators, clergy, neighbors, book resources, periodicals, internet web sites, as well as many other places. Identifying when we need support combined with the confidence to seek out applicable resources improves our chances of overcoming future family related stressors and promotes healthy and functioning families.

Why is family life important?

Our physical, emotional, and mental well being affects our family members, especially our partners/spouses and children. Our experiences, thoughts, words, actions, perceptions, feelings, and emotions create our individual belief system affecting how we interact and communicate with others. Communication is crucial in maintaining healthy personal relationships and family functioning. How we manage stress is also a factor in maintaining a healthy family life and thriving career. Making note of what stress management techniques work for us and utilizing them regularly is an ideal way of guarding against future challenges. Building resilience against crisis and stress strengthens our ability to serve the communities we work for, and better yet, our own families.

Some ways to reduce stress are eating healthy, exercising, journaling, talking with a friend, spending time with loved ones, working on a favorite hobby, spending time outdoors, using breathing techniques or visualization, listening to soothing music, being intimate with your partner, taking a bath as well as many other ways. One of the best ways to reduce stress is spending quality family time. The wonderful thing about stress management techniques is that they can be incorporated with family bonding.

Building family ties through rituals, traditions, and social involvement strengthens family relationships and attachments. Some great ways to achieve these things are family trips, outings, bike rides, hikes, playing games, celebrating special occasions, family meals, attending community events, and having regular family meetings. Open communication, being a good listener, practicing patience, accepting criticism, avoiding defensiveness, admitting mistakes, showing forgiveness, and providing encouragement and support to our family members are some ideal ways that we promote quality family life. Family life is important because we need the mutual support of our family to be fulfilled.

Moving forward and embracing change

As we take our journey through life, we create our legacy. Our legacy being, the beliefs, qualities, traits, or attributes we pass on to those we are closest to. Ask yourself, if today was the last day of my life, what would I leave behind? How would my family, friends, and the people that knew me remember me? You can also ask yourself, am I the best family member, partner, spouse, parent, police officer, co-worker or friend I can be? Do others look to me for guidance? Am I a good leader or role model? By asking ourselves these challenging questions and reflecting on our answers, we can take the necessary steps towards identifying the changes we want to make.

The reality is we are not truly capable of taking care of others, until we have cared for ourselves. It is never too late to make the conscious decision to improve who you are. Sometimes, the smallest changes can be the most difficult, yet the most rewarding. Knowing that change does not happen overnight is also important to keep in mind. Overcoming behaviors or habits that we have practiced for years, or perhaps over the course of our life, will take a deal of time. However, happiness comes from living a life that makes us feel comfortable with the person that we are.

There is nothing more humbling than admitting to yourself that you need help. We are all works in progress, a job that is never ending. There is never a point in anyone’s life where one can say, I am the best person I can be. Point being, we all need help at different times in our life. Once we can understand this concept, we can accept our weaknesses, learn from them, move forward, and open ourselves up to positive changes. Embracing change allows us to be more willing to seek out the resources that can help improve our self awareness. It is never too late to make changes that positively impact our lives, as well as the lives of those who are closest to us.



Information for this article was provided by: Law Enforcement Family Support

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